Three.

I love our little family.

We recently got a cheapie tripod to take some portraits with. 

I have some exciting ideas involving a new house and of course, upcoming holidays. I feel it's important to document all the things happening in our little life, especially to be able to show to family and friends unfortunately not in our town or state. 

Today marks three months of marriage to this fella, but the last approximately ninety days have been so much more than that. The past three months have taught us how to live together, how to fight together, how to forgive and move past. They’ve taught us grace and respect, selflessness and courage. Some of the best days being married to him have been the least eventful; staying bed all day, cleaning our little home, watching a marathon of our favorite show at the moment. Marriage has continuously taught my stubborn, rigid self spontaneity, silliness and childishness. It has reminded me to come out of my self, and to pour life and love and energy into someone else daily. It has taught me day after day that caring rejuvenates me, that plans can be thrown out, and most of all that you can’t stop learning how to love someone else…better.  

The military is being gracious to us this weekend with four whole days together. We have some plans with other people being social and whatnot, but mostly they’ll be spent inside waiting out a few thunderstorms like the ones we had today. We’ve hung out with a few other couples a few different times. I can’t wait to start entertaining in our own home. We’ll start packing to move soon, too. Which is both exciting and overwhelming. Moving three times in just under four months? Sure why not.

But this move will be the last for a long while.

And that, makes my heart soar. 

Life is so sweet lately, especially with these three loves.  

Guilt Free Living

I've been reflecting recently about our life here; my life here. I'm been thinking, almost guiltily about how simple and easy it all seems to be. I've been dwelling on the transition and it not being entirely what I thought it would be. 

I've been happily relishing in the fact of planting roots here. 

Here in a place I never suspected I would be, but more so, never suspected I'd like to be as much as I do. And while it sounds odd that that's something I could "guiltily" admit, it is. Before you say it, no this transition hasn't been a breeze and yes, I know certain times will be harder (like the holidays, don't want to go there). 

I guess I imagined this transition to be nothing but rocky and terrifying, awful and difficult, filled with tears and pain. While it was all of the above beforehand, before June 9th and maybe even during that really scary flight into here, it's not nearly been any of that. Do not mistake my words for pure positivity or some kind of naive security; the tears happened. The pain before during and after this great life transition came. Much of our adjustment period, mine here, brought late night sob-fests, pain, missing the North and the people whom I love there already and all of the comfort the latter brought. 

But day after day here, God has granted me peace. 

Peace after the storm, calmness and clarity after the transitional anticipation and turmoil. Rest through the changes and adapting to new things, places, people. I've been blessed with an established network of amazing people that my husband has previously created. I've found a job that I'm looking forward to, fur babies to love on and more importantly a friend and comfort in a husband. 

I'm constantly reminded of all the love that is found in our little home, the promises in our new home and simple almost-silly things like tripping over Lilly's toys that are strewn about on the floor. 

I find rest in late nights of solitude, even if it means that the solitude is the result of an absent, hard-working husband. I am endlessly grateful for his diligence, selflessness and hard-working spirit. I've learned to take these nights and be just as selfish as I need to be so that I can, in turn, gain strength to be selfless. 

I smile at all the piece of our lives, as trivial and materialistic as some are, the home we've built both metaphorically and all the important physical aspects we're slowly acquiring. They hold meaning to me. That key rack we got our first week here. As silly and stupid as some may be, they're all parts of our story and our memories. They're a way for me to timestamp our moments here, however permanent or impermanent our time is here. 

The placemats and other things and pieces that have travelled with me through college and then across the country; the items that have stood with me through all the change and shifting. 

The new things, 

like our silly kitchen refrigerator white board and the words, "I will always appreciate you" carefully written after a silly spat that I refuse to erase. 

The wedding pictures that now flood our little home. The ones hung, in frames, next to the tv or on my nightstand.  

I take such joy in all the smiling faces and clouded memories of that day they hold - the celebration and contentment after over four years of trials and pain and reunions and love. 

And the little reminders of everything in between. 

The old and new, the happy and scary, the tears and the joy. 

I want to be grateful for each moment. 

I want to remember everything. 

And I want to let myself enjoy every part of it.

Because no matter how much I'm missing everything in a different part of the country, I'm so blessed and I find such comfort in what's here and now. I've blessed by new friends and new places, by learning the backroads and tiny victories of not having to use the gps in doing so. In knowing the grocery store layout I go to every week, or as stupid as it sounds, having a grocery store that I go to every week. In having friends to call and text and hang out with, in having the familiarity and comfort that a location and places can eventually bring when you let them. 

 And I'm grateful for a patient and loving husband, 

who is ceaselessly my greatest friend and strongest confidant. 

And for a loving Jesus, 

who restores souls and instills unexpected courage when you need it the most. 

Realistic Dreaming {For the Most Part}.

It's funny how this house thing came out of no where for us - an absolute God thing. 

One minute I was browsing Zillow (a favorite activity of ours) then driving by the house, then touring it with a realtor, and the next we were high on the excitement of waiting the 24 hours for the seller to respond after putting in our first offer. We anxiously waited for the acceptance of our offer before doing a giddy dance (okay...many giddy dances). 

Between then and now, we've seen the house one more time during the inspection, which it passed with flying colors except for a couple of minor details (thank goodness!) We've been processing and planning as well as having meetings and emails and phonecalls with the necessary important people - buying a house is serious business! *She says...stating the obvious.* 

Since the seller has accepted that offer, we've been heavily dreaming about what our new house is going to look like, rather what we are going to change it to look like. While, already stunning both inside and outside, we've been able to have some time to "realistic dream" and gather inspiration about the changes we'll make to our now-permanent home. We've decided on a few things, from where to put the sofa, to what color to paint the guest room. 

So I figured I'd share some of our scheming and dreaming for what our-finally-home is going to (eventually and hopefully/with a little/lot of work) look like!

Patio/backyard: 

We are SO excited to have such an awesome backyard and patio/deck for entertaining and most importantly, duh, our Lilly girl. Once the weather calms down and the South steps away from those three digit temperatures I'm sure we'll really enjoy being outside for more than two minutes. And so will Lilly! We hope to get some casual patio furniture and I hope to string some cheesy, but simple and sweet lights underneath the patio roof! 

Entryway: 

The house has an awesome entryway that runs into the living room (which has tray ceilings - *DROOL*). For the longest time, we brainstormed how the make the simple entry look inviting and fun and then stumbled across this picture on Pinterest. The wall we're planning on doing this with looks identical to the one in the picture, so it was decided; a hook rail and a simple gallery wall above it. 

Guest room:

Since we're out of state, we imagine we'll eventually have family and friends someday come to visit us! The house is graced with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. While one bedroom is teeny and will be used as the office/spare room/and was currently used as an ALL PINK nursery, we have a good sized bedroom we'll make into the guest bedroom. We'll use the furniture we have now in our bedroom in there (black) and get a new set for us to have. Which led me to want to do a black and white bedroom, with minor not overwhelming touches of yellow. We'll paint the walls a light gray from the tan they are now and add in simple touches yellow like lamps, picture frames and pillows. But keep everything else strictly black and white.

Master Bathroom: 

We'll keep the navy theme we have in our bathroom now, but paint an accent striped navy and light gray wall to one small side of the bathroom  next to the sink (pretty similar placement to that picture actually). And add in accents of gray and navy to the rest of the bathroom. 

Master Bedroom: 

Our master bedroom will probably be the most work/painting. We fell in love with this Palladian Blue color by Benjamin Moore and hope to paint one accent wall that, with the other walls being a light gray. We'll keep our gray theme we have no with all our bedding and add seafoam accents into the rest of the room. We're most excited about the results of this room! The master has an awesome vaulted ceiling to it that we love. Now, I only hope it comes out the way we're imagining it!

{The rest of the pictures in this post are just more of what's inspiring us for our lovely new home!} 

Cooking Like a Newlywed // Part II.

Remember this post about becoming a "foodie?"

I have some new additions as of lately!

Crock Pot Chicken Tacos and Cauliflower "Rice"

First time making both - delicious! We combined the rice in the taco and adding all the fixins. I found out that Kevin loves cauliflower and I haven't had it since I was a kid. I bet you could add some spices and experiment with this, but we loved the cilantro and lime. Plain would taste well...really plain. I wouldn't recommend it. Supposedly it's a healthy version of "rice?" Definitely not rice if that's what you're expecting. Considering its....not...rice. 

                   

Tried and true recipe - Cinnamon Apple Oatmeal muffins (don't worry, nothing caught on fire this time)

These are awesome breakfast muffins and you can freeze them if you wanna make a ton and defrost them. And NOT burn down your house by them catching on fire in the microwave when you defrost them accidentally on the meat setting....

I replaced milk with almond milk (which I do with anything I bake) and used 'regular' flour. 

Coconut pineapple Loaf Cake 

(a husband tried and true favorite treat). 

I love this recipe so much. It's a little more complicated than I lean towards with all the prep and process before but it is WELL worth it!

(Easy) Pad Thai

This is also a tried and true favorite. Nothing like eating Pad Thai on the actual streets of Thailand (add it to your bucket list, you won't regret it) but I'll take it. There's no funky ingredients like most recipes and it's super easy so it's fairly "American-ized" I would say. It tastes like a form of lo mein noodles. I bet it's not everyone's cup of tea but it's an awesome change for every once in awhile when I'm in the mood!

               

Raspberry Swirl Yogurt Loaf Cake 

This is a new recipe that I will definitely be making again! We devoured this! I replaced greek yogurt with regular yogurt because that's what I had on hand. I also omitted the 'glaze' in attempt to make it healthier (HA!) and it was just as good I promise. You aren't missing anything. 

Happy cooking and baking!

Truthful Tuesday v. 1.

- I’ve recently made that transition from calling Connecticut ‘my parents’ house’ instead of referring to it as ‘my house.’ I don’t know how or when it happened, but suddenly it just felt wrong to say ‘my house’ when that’s not my house nor my home anymore in any sense of the word. I know that I will always have a home there with people I love still living there, but it feels funny when my home is already so much here after such a short time.

- Thinking about furnishing our new home doesn’t make me want to leave it anytime soon. Which in turn makes me a little bit guilty, like I should want to go back to my hometown and visit everyone any chance I get. This confuses my heart a little bit. We finally found the perfect sectional for our new home and we’re so excited to put it in our home. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but we’re slowly planning things for our house when we move in a few weeks. We were supposed to have an inspection today but it got changed to Thursday. I want to see our house again!

- Husband is on twelves. Not just on twelves, but overnight twelves. No thank you on all fronts. Husband is lackingsleep and over-worked and (whine whine whine) it’s affecting my own sleep cycle so much more than I want it to. I hope they don’t last the two weeks that they think they may and only the one that they hope. I need some kind of routine again. A normal one during the normal people hours of the day.

- I’m ready for August to be over, which is something I never say. Summer and all that, right? But September holds so many exciting things; my new job starting, our house closing/moving, my birthday and enjoying our new home (slash decorating it with fall stuff!) I’m hesitant to see what fall is like down here while at the same time I know it will lack so much compared to my beautiful New England autumns (sorry Southerners, you ain't got nothing on those Northern autumns).

- I have so many mixed feelings about my new job - let me explain. I seem to be getting some doubts from people who know me ~’professionally’ about my qualifications and my position/responsibilities. It’s like they’re shocked at my position as ‘not a full time teacher.’ It’s kind of like the weird transition I felt after graduating and working towards that funnel of only being a full time teacher; for a while I felt that that was my only option and I didn’t know what else to do. I guess a little bit trapped in a way. It’s amazing how this job came out of no where and the connections it led me to. I truly truly do believe it’s a God-thing, even though I have no idea how it’s going to pan out. I'm learning that that's okay for my control-freak-self to handle. It’s teaching me that nothing is permanent, that I can do what I want and what I'm passionate about, even if the route that I'm taking is a little bit unexpected.

Before it’s even started, it’s showing me the many opportunities that I do have, that I’m not confined into one pathway of "what’s expected of me." And it’s proving to me that I can work towards my passions, even if I only partially have a handle on whatever the heck that means. The bottom line is that I love working with kids, I love teaching them and seeing them learn and showing them love and forming relationships with them; no matter the age, the amount of time that I see them a week or a month or the material they’re learning. That’s what I love doing. And just because I took rigorous courses and tests to prove to some states that I'm qualified to do the latter (or whatever that means), doesn’t mean I’m going to automatically get locked into something I’m unsure of just because it's presented to me or because I'm qualified to do so (does that make sense?). I’m going to take these coming opportunities in stride (whoa, look at for easy-going Kailyn?) and figure out what I want to do, not even for the rest of my life, just for now. And for once, I don't think I need a five year plan for this. 

And that’s okay. I’m really learning that that’s okay. Expectations, whether they’re yours or other people’s are ridiculously stressful. You learn and you love regardless.

And I love where life and God’s plans are taking me lately, what they're showing and teaching me.

Regardless of all that other stuff.

Home Sweet Home.

August has been crazy because.....

WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!

A few days before August 1st, we (I) was browsing Zillow (a favorite dorky pastime of ours) and noticed a house for sale in a potential town we had been scoping out for some time down the road house shopping. I ran and got Kevin and showed him it online. We both naturally agreed that for the amazing-ness that was the house that we were looking at online and the price it was listed at, there just had to be something wrong. It was about two hours before Kevin had to leave for work so we were soaking in a little bit of a lazy morning. A few minutes later he ran up the stairs with a, "let's go drive by that house." My response was something like, "...you're joking?" And with a completely serious face he answered something like, "why not? what can it hurt?" 

A few hours later we got back to our humble townhome after (quite creepily) passing that dream online home a few times and circling the block more times than necessary. We took a picture of the realtor sign with the phone number on it and called once we got back with the same attitude for a tour of the inside of this wonderful house... 

"What could it hurt?" 

While we weren't currently or intentionally "looking for a house" we certainly didn't plan on renting for forever. And with Kevin's career being the military and his job qualifications/certification strictly being tied to mostly this particular base, we knew in the back of our minds we would be someday looking for a house.  But two months after we got here? Nope. 

Tuesday was the creeper drive-by, fast forward to that weekend. Friday was our inside tour. Within twenty minutes we knew we fell in love with this house. We toured it for about an hour, asked a million questions to the awesome realtor and brought up every scenario we could think of with each other as we moved from room-to-room multiple times (complete with the beautiful big backyard). 

What about location for future teaching jobs? 

Is it big enough, too big, just right? 

Would we have enough room for Lilly? 

What if the appliances didn't come with it? 

Where would we put this? 

Could we fit that here? 

Was it a good distance from the base? 

We took pictures and video and we were on our way in a flurry of tentative excitement. 

We talked and researched talked and discussed for hours, well into the night that Saturday. We played every option in our head and asked each other multiple times, "Are we really doing this? Do we really want this?" 

The answer was yes to both. 

That Saturday night we called the realtor to set up a time to meet with him and talk and ask more questions (hello first time home buyers) and maybe draw up a contract with that offer in it? He responded that he had gotten calls for more showing the following week and why don't we meet at 5:30pm the next day. A Sunday, no less. We sat in his office for hours, drawing up contracts and signing documents. 

We waited anxiously for twenty-four hours for a response and were thrilled when we finally got one. Our offer had been accepted. The house was ours!

Since then, it has been a flurry of inspections, paperwork, phone calls and processing; emotionally and paperwork. 

Oh, the paperwork. 

But we did it. And in about a month, we will move into our new home. I can hardly believe it. 

God's provisions and timing are ceaselessly perfect.

Even when we never expected it. 

August.

Suddenly it’s May and the weight of four years’ stress is slightly lifted off of your shoulders. You say your surreal goodbyes and prepare as well as you can for the big wide world ahead of you. You clean that tiny apartment you’ll soon say goodbye to, filled with thousands of hours of laughs and tears and four other souls who became as close as sisters. Who saw you at your best and your worst and countless amounts of the in-between. You’ll be pinned and pushed out into the dim glow of the education world, questioning everything you ever thought or knew about where you were headed professionally. Your peers are colleagues now, and they are getting acceptance letters. You’re preparing to walk down the aisle in two weeks; and you’re learning that your path in life does not have to mirror those around you.

At commencement, your professor that you most admire tells you and your beaming parents one thing that sticks with you among the blurred list of names,
she tells you;

Just don't stop writing, okay? Promise me. 

It’s two weeks later and between the whirlwind of packing and driving and panic attacks and tears, someone is fussing with your hair and your cheeks. You’re as happy as a clam and won’t remember a blessed thing two months down the road. Except the way he ran his thumbs around the tops of your palms while you said your vows. Or those five deep breaths you took before the doors opened, before the tears came and your vision blurred. Or how your dad cried and told you how he “lost his breath” when he saw you in your dress. You’ll remember those things.

And you’ll be extraordinarily grateful that you have pictures and video to help relive it.
The memories come back through those and you are thankful. 

Nine days later and the storm rages on. Thunder and lightning rattle the tiny plane and you clutch his hand until your nails mark his skin. You hear him suck in a breath and you mutter, “sorry” as he shifts in his seat and places a steady hand on your knee; what seems like an eternity later and you are safely on the ground. Your exhale of relief is echoed by everyone on that plane and there is a never-ending stream of ‘thanks yous’ and ‘good jobs’ with terribly relieved and wavering smiles to the pilot as you all file out. A then-stranger to you, and friend to your ten-day-old husband picks you up from the airport close to midnight. You load all five of your heavy suitcases, full of your wardrobe and then some, into her car and sit quietly in the backseat. Conversation is slow and easy as she makes me way into the dreary downpour, avoiding the flooding on the sides of the highway by practically driving in the middle of the two lanes.

You walk into not-your apartment and collapse into bed with your husband.
And after four and a half exhausting and emotionally-trying years, you are nearly home. 

Four days later, and ask insignificant as it seems, your body notices that hour time difference. Everything is new and it suddenly hits you at all hours of the night for the next few days. A few seemingly dark ones and everything is uncertain. "Please be patient with me," you tell him. He knowingly and lovingly kisses your forehead and you settle into some kind of a restless sleep. Getting used to a new space is hard. Your car or the rest of your things aren’t in the same state as you yet. Your mind flashes to every single backroad you know by heart at home. But then you realize abruptly that that's not home anymore.

You soon move into a home that’s now dubbed over and over again as

“ours" 

not just yours, 

not just his. 

And every possessive phrase sounds like a melody on your lips; come home, what do we need for the house? our kitchen, do we need more of this, our pantry is still looking low, our couch, our family. A five week old tiny kitten tempts you the next day, and from her first look at you you’re both sold. So you welcome her home with you, extending your family. You’re confined to the bathroom floor for the evening as she adjusts to her new surroundings and curls up into you both. You're soaking in her love and spoiling her rotten as she falls asleep in your arms, on your legs, in your laps. A week later, your animal hearts expand for another member of your family. No one is surprised. This one sleeps the entire ride home from Texas and you couldn’t possibly think your heart could grow any further.

Before you know it, you’re waiting for him to get home from work. It’s long after midnight and officially the new month of August. He tiptoes up the stairs, not to wake sleeping animal babies carrying the snack you left for him with a kiss and a "thank you, love."

You’ve been married for two months now.