Three and a half.

Today, August 18th marks three and a half years of being in love with this guy. And while I will refrain from this post reflecting any sort of sappy love letter, sometimes it's just difficult not to gush. He arrived at the airport last week on Friday afternoon and sadly left today. We spent nine days together doing everything from wedding planning, attending appointments, and absolutely nothing.

What a good sport

We spent time with my family and his mom, who came from PA to visit for a few days. We walked on the beach and savored the few last weeks of summer. I even tried to sway his very non-italianness to my very favorite pastries. He fell madly in love with a favorite pastry different from mine, which no one can even begin to correctly pronounce... Sfogliatelle, anyone?

Dedicated cannoli lover for life

Family time included mother-daughter selfies and a constant reminder to mentally record all that kept happening; the jokes, the fooling around, the quiet evenings, the walks, sunsets, family time, and both silly words, and wise words. This summer, I have been consistently shifting from savoring the old and looking forward to all the new, that most days I don't know which I should spend time dwelling on. I feel guilty dwelling too much on the future, as I should always be grateful and dwell in the present. However, I have a hard time coming away from my roots, so much so that I never even realized I have these roots. Does that make sense? But in the same moment, I realize I will never really shake them; my roots. That's a nice thought. Even when I'm not physically near all of it. I'm learning that I don't have to permanently get rid of anything when I can always have it in memories and people and pictures and promised visits. 

I got to spend time out, being almost like a normal couple with this stud, even if it was only temporary; family dinners, frozen yogurt dates, and quality time spent doing everything and nothing together. More and more I realize that, as much as I've always rejected the idea of "I'm in love with my best friend" because of it's cheese-factor, I know why people say it. I really just love spending time with him. We don't have to be out, we don't have to be dressed up or doing strict planned things. I just love being with him and talking to him and laughing with him. And man of man, I get to spend the rest of my life like this? 

More on that later.

We did countless wedding things; met with people, booked things, tasted way too much cake, took pretty pictures in order to announce that Saturday in May we're gettin hitched, (more on those later too...!) and productively conquered things on that giant and seemingly intimidating list spelling out the next almost nine months. But alas, we took time and banned all wedding talk, planning, discussion and decisions and just remembered to be normal...or as normal as our relationship can be.

No deposits, deadlines, or confirmations needed. 

Just the two of us. We even got put on babysitting duty for an afternoon.

And let me tell you. If that picture doesn't melt your heart, you have some kind of problem. I will openly admit, I am a walking contradiction. I constantly glare and shush people who spring the "So when do you two plan on having kids" (answer: none of your business...or nicely put, that is between us and God, thank you for asking), question then gush over any little one I see, (I get yelled at constantly by my fiance for pointing out cute kids in public). My excuse is that I am always working with kids, so a lot of times I'm more comfortable with them than with adults. 

Shh, don't tell anyone.

And then, 

the inevitable came. 

As it always, always does.

Three and a half years of airport parking lots, tears, terminals, duffle bags, blubbering goodbye kisses, Skype, time differences, miscommunications, and days feeling like you’re in love with a stranger. 

But then at the same time it’s been three and a half years of airport hugs and kisses, hand holding walking out to the car after months of waiting, serious talks, planning, getting to know each other all over again, and milestones. The good will always outweigh the bad, and it’s hard but always worth it. Sometimes I don’t know how we do it, but somehow we manage. 

Only a couple more goodbyes, then one amazing final wedding hello celebration. 

We got this.