November

November was an incredibly busy month! Our first Thanksgiving, finally feeling some Southern Fall weather, lots of outside walks, and lots of decorating. 

Creating permanence.

I keep thinking about how I get to experience all the seasons with him. All of them in a row, not distinct and separate memories with him in each. And while I love all of our amazing long distance memories and how special they are in our story and to us, there is something so lovely about experiencing the first few days of chill after a (very long Southern) summer. Curling up on the couch, hot chocolate, late night tv and movies, sleeping in on the weekend, sweatshirts and blankets; though in its own timing, my favorite season has finally arrived.

The cool weather around here gives way to open windows and finally turning the air conditioning off. The animals could not be more thrilled. Leah likes to sit in the open windowsill and watch her sister outside nose around while I clean or cook inside. I have never been so eager to bring my scarves and boots and long sleeves out from far back in my closet. And our weekly menus now display meals like pot roast and soups.

The windows were open for another reason this weekend; because our bedroom reeked of paint fumes. We spent hours and hours on Saturday doing a first coat and then finished Sunday afternoon with a second and final coat to cover the generic tan color that is splattered over all of our house's walls. We are so happy with the results and I am starting to infuse a second teal/seafoam color into our gray bedroom. There is something so final and permanent and investing about spending so much time painting and laboring over something. It's what makes it truly yours and I am so glad to feel so invested into this home already. Every decoration, nail in the wall, and paint color we are in the process of choosing makes it feel more and more ours. Our choices. Our memories. Our comfort and stability and permanence. We are growing here and planting and investing our memories and lives and time and work. And that is a truly fulfilling feeling in a home that was once someone else's.

But now feels nothing but ours. 

All in love // All for love.

Throughout these last five very new months of marriage I've learnt a few things; but the foremost, stereotypical one being how to mold my habits.

I've learned not only the obvious; how to coexist with another person, how to cook for someone other than myself, how to compromise, and read cues of the voice, body language, and sounds. I've learned surface things such as my husbands likes and dislikes I had missed out learning in our four years of long distance dating, how he likes to do things a certain way, or how tired he is after a particularly long shift. But I've also learned about all the other stuff, the beyond surface things, the hard stuff; like what his love and war languages are, and what they look like when they're clashing into mine. I've learned what a Saturday afternoon with him feels like, or how still he sleeps to my always tossing and turning. 

More so, I've learned about me, about my things in relation to his; about my ability to pour gasoline into flames, my fight face, my own love languages, ones I had known about as well as those I had yet to discover in single-me life. I've learned what I feel like in certain situations, what it takes for me to feel or do certain things, what my limits are or what my patience and compromise level is growing into in all the best ways. I've learned the value of my attitudes, the difference between a sharp tongue and gentle word or spirit. I've learned my breaking points and how I can control or soften them, my cool down methods and stubbornness in offering forgiveness. 

All in love. All for love. 

I've learned the value of compromise and weighing a situation. I've learned when to ask, is this really worth fighting for? Is this worth it, tears, anger? Is there another way to resolve this, to let my voice be heard respectfully giving to respectfully receive? Can I quiet my own opinion and listen to another's out of love? Can I humble my and submit myself to the higher importance of a greater accomplishment instead of selfish moments? Am I able to cool down from red to blue, to take a breather and come back with words not decibels?

All in love. All for love.

I have learned.

I have learned great things in a short time. I have strengthened and been broken, my selfishness has yielded it's way to another's in a greater joy of service, respect, and most of all a different kind of love than I have ever know. In just these five months I have learned, we have learned. We have grown where we have been planted. We have reached and stretched, torn and rebuilt.

All in love. All for love.  

"Because marriage means opportunity

To grow in love in friendship.

Because marriage is a discipline

To be added to a list of achievements.

Because marriages do not fail, people fail

When they enter into marriage

Expecting another to make them whole. 

Why Marriage? - Unknown.  

Interesting Reads // Volume 1.

{I've come across some interesting reads I figured I would share!}

Do it yourself? Can I? Should I? Is it worth it?
Or should I just suck it up buy it?

50 things you should stop buying and start making.

My husband is the type of person who would rather just spend the money and buy something. Less trouble and times and aggravation I'm sure he'd say. Me, I'd like to think I'd be okay with spending the time investing into something. SO...I've been recently thinking about making some things and not buying them. Mostly food stuff, but I really would love to get into making my own laundry detergent, bread, and random food items we use frequently like ranch seasonings/taco seasonings etc. I see a few pros to making these: less expensive, less preservatives/unknown chemicals, more quantities to have saved on hand! So why not?
Stay tuned...

I love TED talks.
Seriously, if I could get paid to stay in pajamas and watch TED talks all day I would sign on the dotted line faster than you can say....well you get the picture. So all those 20-somethings, check these out. I've watched about half of them but definitely plan on finding time to hunker down and finish the list.

11 ted talks every 20 something should watch.


I just think this is a valuable read.
And I guess we could all learn to take criticism better.
...No?......Just me?

How are you taking productive criticism? 

I became a we, uniquely.

I'm not entirely sure what my expectations of marriage were before May 31st. 

Regardless, on May 31st 2014, 

I became a "we."

Now, before you get the wrong opinion, being a "we" is a wonderful and fulfilling feeling. It's not at all cause for losing independence or your voice. In fact, I think it may have made me louder to be heard, fight for what I want, and what matters in my book while learning what a respectful compromise looks like.

I became a we on date nights out to the movie asking what we will be seeing. I'm a we telling my hair stylist what we like to do on Saturday nights (catch up on our shows together and make smoothies, duh). I'm not sure I knew how much it would change my life, while at the same time feel so completely familiar, so comfortable and nature. I'm not sure I realized how scared I was, or how much I listened to those stereotypes even as I told myself I wasn't. I'm not sure I fully absorbed the advice everyone gave me, the cautions, or "just you wait until..." I heard all the "don't let him," "don't forget to" and my all-time favorite "just wait until you've been living with that for thirty years."

Aaron Huberty Photography

But the truth is, I was as ready as I would ever be. Much like first time mothers I suppose, I read the books. I knew all the information, all the scenarios, everything you should talk about beforehand (things like finances and fights). I'd heard friends tell me about their hardest or happiest parts of marriage, knowing full well mine may be the same, but most likely completely different. And they have been. Each of those. Yeah, we bicker about the stereotypical things all married couples do, there's a reason those are stereotypes. But we have our own things, our own stuff. Completely unique to us.

We really do have our own share of problems, arguments, victories. And I think my expectations were wrong, that amidst all the advice or cautions, I never realized that my marriage is my own, completely unique to everyone else's in the world.

Aaron Huberty Photography

And maybe, that's what they don't tell you in counseling or in those books. Your marriage is unlike anyone else's in so many ways.

I guess here's the point where you and I both go well...duh.

But hear me out. You both are not just another statistic or stereotype. And they're not "all the same" (okay we know the they I'm talking about and some of the time they really are). Some arguments may be similar to your friends, but they don't fight the same way you do. Or they don't forgive the way you do. My marriage and my home is a joining of two very unique people. We live differently than our friends, we make different choices, we handle problems differently. Though people are similar, couples are similar; every single marriage is different.

And that is okay.

What I'm trying to get at is that my marriage is not that of ten other people giving me advice, my marriage is not my friends' or my parents' marriage, it's not the same as the ones I read in books or see in movies.

And for that, I am grateful. 

I am grateful that I get to live and learn along the way, that I get to do life with this other human being whom I have pledged my heart and my life to. That all of our mistakes and problems are our own, that we get to figure them out along the way, just us. That we know us and know the other person the best way possible, and maybe even sometimes in the worst ways.

But knowing that our marriage is uniquely ours, that we're not a copyright of someone else's

is a refreshing feeling.

Insta-lately.

+ I’ve been back at it in the gym loving it. I love my Polar watch and the motivation of good workouts fueling all the times when I don’t feel like getting off my lazy butt and driving to base.

+ I love the yoga class I take twice a week now. It’s such a fun and interesting workout that makes me feel relaxed and stretched. And hey, I can workout barefoot? Amazing. It’s awesome to feel my progress from week to week, or even class to class in the things I’m now able to do!

+ Our little angel baby bad dog chewed her puppy collar this week. She apparently thought it was time for a big girl one. It took us awhile to try to figure out if she chewed it ON her or pulled it into her crate one morning (it wasn’t on). Freak.

+ Monday was a rough one. God is teaching me something, even if it is just continuously that MY plan is not THE plan. Always teaching me that one. Trying to figure out this passion of mine constantly and what the heck I’m going to do with it. Apparently I’m figuring it out by process of elimination. Such is life, such are circumstances. Sometimes, it really is a paycheck and a learning experience I suppose.

+ On the menu tonight: Crock pot Beef and broccoli with noodles. Husband loved it and even though I’m not a huge beef eater, so did I! Super easy and (mostly) healthy. (I chose to do it with noodles instead of rice and I’m glad). The South doesn’t believe in quality take out chinese food so we’re going to start making our own. So very not the same and I cannot wait to order from our standard place when we visit back home.

+ Speaking of home, my parents came this weekend. I am grateful for our time, for Kevin and my independence, our learning and lessons and the life we’ve built here. I’m proud of us, of myself in so many ways. I guess I really thought I’d fall apart moving here, that it’d be some kind of repeat of freshman year of college and that I’d go wanting to run back to a safe place quick. But really, this has become my safe place. Our home.

+ We waited until we were settled and could put a new address on our Lilly girl’s ID tag to get her an official one (she had a rabies one don’t worry, we’re not that irresponsible). But now our girl’s official and in light of the new collar, a new ID tag was also needed.

Twenty three.

Happy birthday to me! (On September 27th)

My first one married.

My first one in another state.

My 23rd birthday.

My husband spoiled me with an adorable apron, a new candle warmer, cannolis the day before, my favorite Dairy Queen ice cream cake, a Polar fit watch, and surprise horseback riding on my actual day.

Horseback riding was so much fun and made my heart happy. It's been difficult to not have a horse after having Cide for nearly ten years, not to mention been difficult just not being around horse smell and touch and the atmosphere of a barn. I guess horse people understand that one more than ever. 

I love my new Polar watch and have used it often already. It's so motivating and intriguing to see actual data if I'm at yoga class, at the gym or even just walking the dog. I definitely recommend it to anyone. 

Overall, the day was amazing and it was wonderful being able to spend it with my husband for the first time ever in our relationship.

While I did always love getting mushy birthday packages on my birthday, spending the day with him was way better.

Cheers to twenty-three, 

I think it's going to be great!

Our {new} first home!

It baffles me that we have moved on from the apartment we made home for nearly four short months. We didn't our grow it, in reality we would have been perfectly fine fulfilling our lease and our ~first year of marriage in that place before finding a more permanent home here. But with God's provisions and many amazing circumstances we have found a home indeed. We closed on September 18 and moved in a few days later and have quickly and easily felt at home in this place.

And we are so easily in love with our Southern abode. 

Moving was tiresome, but worth it. And with lots of help and the kindness of friends we were able to do it efficiently (after many hours of packing, labeling and color-coding).

We are so looking forward to all the memories we make in this home. 

Busy is an understatement.

We've been getting ready/organizing before moving, attending Doggie Dip Days on base,

(Lilly LOVED it…once she realized she loved it),

running errands, gathering extra cleaning supplies, arranging appointments for carpet cleaners and locksmiths (we close two weeks from today!), looking into questionable VA appraisals (and why it’s now a condition for them to paint the bottom of that outside trim?…whatever military), being social,

making new friends, enjoying the generosity of a military four day family weekend,

starting work, 

continuously training and chasing little fur balls around the house,

…oh and we should be packing too, right?

Life is nutso, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Three.

I love our little family.

We recently got a cheapie tripod to take some portraits with. 

I have some exciting ideas involving a new house and of course, upcoming holidays. I feel it's important to document all the things happening in our little life, especially to be able to show to family and friends unfortunately not in our town or state. 

Today marks three months of marriage to this fella, but the last approximately ninety days have been so much more than that. The past three months have taught us how to live together, how to fight together, how to forgive and move past. They’ve taught us grace and respect, selflessness and courage. Some of the best days being married to him have been the least eventful; staying bed all day, cleaning our little home, watching a marathon of our favorite show at the moment. Marriage has continuously taught my stubborn, rigid self spontaneity, silliness and childishness. It has reminded me to come out of my self, and to pour life and love and energy into someone else daily. It has taught me day after day that caring rejuvenates me, that plans can be thrown out, and most of all that you can’t stop learning how to love someone else…better.  

The military is being gracious to us this weekend with four whole days together. We have some plans with other people being social and whatnot, but mostly they’ll be spent inside waiting out a few thunderstorms like the ones we had today. We’ve hung out with a few other couples a few different times. I can’t wait to start entertaining in our own home. We’ll start packing to move soon, too. Which is both exciting and overwhelming. Moving three times in just under four months? Sure why not.

But this move will be the last for a long while.

And that, makes my heart soar. 

Life is so sweet lately, especially with these three loves.  

Guilt Free Living

I've been reflecting recently about our life here; my life here. I'm been thinking, almost guiltily about how simple and easy it all seems to be. I've been dwelling on the transition and it not being entirely what I thought it would be. 

I've been happily relishing in the fact of planting roots here. 

Here in a place I never suspected I would be, but more so, never suspected I'd like to be as much as I do. And while it sounds odd that that's something I could "guiltily" admit, it is. Before you say it, no this transition hasn't been a breeze and yes, I know certain times will be harder (like the holidays, don't want to go there). 

I guess I imagined this transition to be nothing but rocky and terrifying, awful and difficult, filled with tears and pain. While it was all of the above beforehand, before June 9th and maybe even during that really scary flight into here, it's not nearly been any of that. Do not mistake my words for pure positivity or some kind of naive security; the tears happened. The pain before during and after this great life transition came. Much of our adjustment period, mine here, brought late night sob-fests, pain, missing the North and the people whom I love there already and all of the comfort the latter brought. 

But day after day here, God has granted me peace. 

Peace after the storm, calmness and clarity after the transitional anticipation and turmoil. Rest through the changes and adapting to new things, places, people. I've been blessed with an established network of amazing people that my husband has previously created. I've found a job that I'm looking forward to, fur babies to love on and more importantly a friend and comfort in a husband. 

I'm constantly reminded of all the love that is found in our little home, the promises in our new home and simple almost-silly things like tripping over Lilly's toys that are strewn about on the floor. 

I find rest in late nights of solitude, even if it means that the solitude is the result of an absent, hard-working husband. I am endlessly grateful for his diligence, selflessness and hard-working spirit. I've learned to take these nights and be just as selfish as I need to be so that I can, in turn, gain strength to be selfless. 

I smile at all the piece of our lives, as trivial and materialistic as some are, the home we've built both metaphorically and all the important physical aspects we're slowly acquiring. They hold meaning to me. That key rack we got our first week here. As silly and stupid as some may be, they're all parts of our story and our memories. They're a way for me to timestamp our moments here, however permanent or impermanent our time is here. 

The placemats and other things and pieces that have travelled with me through college and then across the country; the items that have stood with me through all the change and shifting. 

The new things, 

like our silly kitchen refrigerator white board and the words, "I will always appreciate you" carefully written after a silly spat that I refuse to erase. 

The wedding pictures that now flood our little home. The ones hung, in frames, next to the tv or on my nightstand.  

I take such joy in all the smiling faces and clouded memories of that day they hold - the celebration and contentment after over four years of trials and pain and reunions and love. 

And the little reminders of everything in between. 

The old and new, the happy and scary, the tears and the joy. 

I want to be grateful for each moment. 

I want to remember everything. 

And I want to let myself enjoy every part of it.

Because no matter how much I'm missing everything in a different part of the country, I'm so blessed and I find such comfort in what's here and now. I've blessed by new friends and new places, by learning the backroads and tiny victories of not having to use the gps in doing so. In knowing the grocery store layout I go to every week, or as stupid as it sounds, having a grocery store that I go to every week. In having friends to call and text and hang out with, in having the familiarity and comfort that a location and places can eventually bring when you let them. 

 And I'm grateful for a patient and loving husband, 

who is ceaselessly my greatest friend and strongest confidant. 

And for a loving Jesus, 

who restores souls and instills unexpected courage when you need it the most. 

Realistic Dreaming {For the Most Part}.

It's funny how this house thing came out of no where for us - an absolute God thing. 

One minute I was browsing Zillow (a favorite activity of ours) then driving by the house, then touring it with a realtor, and the next we were high on the excitement of waiting the 24 hours for the seller to respond after putting in our first offer. We anxiously waited for the acceptance of our offer before doing a giddy dance (okay...many giddy dances). 

Between then and now, we've seen the house one more time during the inspection, which it passed with flying colors except for a couple of minor details (thank goodness!) We've been processing and planning as well as having meetings and emails and phonecalls with the necessary important people - buying a house is serious business! *She says...stating the obvious.* 

Since the seller has accepted that offer, we've been heavily dreaming about what our new house is going to look like, rather what we are going to change it to look like. While, already stunning both inside and outside, we've been able to have some time to "realistic dream" and gather inspiration about the changes we'll make to our now-permanent home. We've decided on a few things, from where to put the sofa, to what color to paint the guest room. 

So I figured I'd share some of our scheming and dreaming for what our-finally-home is going to (eventually and hopefully/with a little/lot of work) look like!

Patio/backyard: 

We are SO excited to have such an awesome backyard and patio/deck for entertaining and most importantly, duh, our Lilly girl. Once the weather calms down and the South steps away from those three digit temperatures I'm sure we'll really enjoy being outside for more than two minutes. And so will Lilly! We hope to get some casual patio furniture and I hope to string some cheesy, but simple and sweet lights underneath the patio roof! 

Entryway: 

The house has an awesome entryway that runs into the living room (which has tray ceilings - *DROOL*). For the longest time, we brainstormed how the make the simple entry look inviting and fun and then stumbled across this picture on Pinterest. The wall we're planning on doing this with looks identical to the one in the picture, so it was decided; a hook rail and a simple gallery wall above it. 

Guest room:

Since we're out of state, we imagine we'll eventually have family and friends someday come to visit us! The house is graced with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. While one bedroom is teeny and will be used as the office/spare room/and was currently used as an ALL PINK nursery, we have a good sized bedroom we'll make into the guest bedroom. We'll use the furniture we have now in our bedroom in there (black) and get a new set for us to have. Which led me to want to do a black and white bedroom, with minor not overwhelming touches of yellow. We'll paint the walls a light gray from the tan they are now and add in simple touches yellow like lamps, picture frames and pillows. But keep everything else strictly black and white.

Master Bathroom: 

We'll keep the navy theme we have in our bathroom now, but paint an accent striped navy and light gray wall to one small side of the bathroom  next to the sink (pretty similar placement to that picture actually). And add in accents of gray and navy to the rest of the bathroom. 

Master Bedroom: 

Our master bedroom will probably be the most work/painting. We fell in love with this Palladian Blue color by Benjamin Moore and hope to paint one accent wall that, with the other walls being a light gray. We'll keep our gray theme we have no with all our bedding and add seafoam accents into the rest of the room. We're most excited about the results of this room! The master has an awesome vaulted ceiling to it that we love. Now, I only hope it comes out the way we're imagining it!

{The rest of the pictures in this post are just more of what's inspiring us for our lovely new home!}