An Anniversary of Sorts.

It's hard to believe that one month ago today, Kevin and I were flying to here, our new home;

away from our friends and family, from everyone who had celebrated just two weeks before at our wedding, our hometowns, and all things comfortable.

Since that June 9th, we have moved out of "just Kevin's" apartment and into our own home together. We've created together an entirely new home for ourselves as a brand new married couple, we adopted a teeny tiny six week old Leah (originally a Leo until the vet told us otherwise), and taken in a ten week old Lilly.

We've made friends and learned how to be together, and how to be together separately in a different way than we have been used to in the past. We've accomplished some sort of routine and schedule and already worked around the military's presence in our life. We've celebrated and cried (okay, that one's mostly me). We've learned so much about life and more about each other and of course a whole ton about marriage. We've been stretched and torn in different ways, learned new things about each other and inevitably welcomed in each other's quirkiest and worst habits.

All that to say, I've never felt more home. I will say it time and time again, though this transition has been difficult for me, I do believe the "idea" of the transition was more difficult previous to the actual time here so far.

Yes, being away from friends and family hurts a ton.
Yes, getting lost driving on roads that I don't know by heart is embarrassing and frustrating.
Yes, I'm battling with emotions of acceptance and satisfaction, of learning more about myself in a place that isn't so familiar to me.

I'm changing my identity, whether I am conscious it or not. I am learning my new roles as wife and caretaker of some adorable fur babies. I am learning a rhythm, one of my own heart and personality in these present circumstances. More and more, of course, I am discovering things about myself in this phase of life. My previous fears of anticipation are gone, and they are replaced with the here and now - my responses to feelings and day-to-day emotions. I have never felt more comfortable in a place that I actually so greatly anticipated being uncomfortable. I wish that I could piece together the words to explain how right this all feels. Though fresh-faced and bushy-tailed, admittedly "just a bright-eyed newlywed," I am determined to learn and grow where I have been planted. Despite expectations, stereotypes, self-sabotaging and past demons, I am positive that I can grow in this new place. I know that newness can bring growth and comfort, that uncertainty can breed easy habits and routine, and that fears and doubts can be replaced with contentment and sureness. I know that I have the most amazing human on my team, a husband who is there to encourage, listen to, support and love me. And I know that I have faith and hope in a Heavenly Father who provides the same, but different encouragement, support, and love.

And I know that I am here. 

That my circumstances and physical address are out of my control-freak-self's control. That I am here by God's grace, finally with my husband - to create a home and a life with him, despite circumstances beyond our control.

I am here to try and stretch, grow, love and live. Live with contentment in the best way I know how, live with satisfaction in a way I can work towards. I am here to be fully present, to enjoy this chapter, to soak in the peace of welcoming a husband home each night and stepping into the shoes of my new identity; 

tentatively, but open to grow and learn, 

always.