Stage Fright?

I got a little cold feet when putting together this blog (re: since putting together this blog). I started second-guessing if I really wanted to show people my thoughts or make a part of my life privy to an uncontrollable public. I'm still not ready to make it "public" quite yet but I've decided that with all the changes, I should have a space where I'm held accountable to growth and to really acknowledging that growth.

“Forget the former things; 

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-19

So much of this summer has been a clash of comfortable and familiar, with the planning and talking of incredibly drastic changes. They're coming. Like a freight train or fresh air, they'll happen regardless. And some days I am scared out my mind, but mostly I am excited. Excited to see what God has in store for my life for not just the future, but every day I choose to be present; fully present. It is so easy to gain a rhythm. Which don't get me wrong, is not all bad. I am the queen of scheduling and planning, and in a healthy way it keeps me level-headed. But I am excited to get out of that routine, to create a new routine. I am excited for student teaching, for the last hurrah of college life, to live life with quality friends before I learn how to live life with my very best friend and husband. 

I have such a habit of 'dwelling on the past,' like Isaiah 43 cautions against. I start thinking, all of those 'well this is what happened last time' or 'what if I do this again' or 'this happened then so it will probably happen again so queue freakout accordingly.' But God is going ahead of me. God knows both the good and the bad.

God is doing so many new things 

and I need to be able to recognize that.

I am ecstatic for not only the new things and places, but for the growing. I am (tentative) but willing to share them with the people I care about, the people who support and advise me. Because no matter how large or how insignificant, changes happen. Changes bring about a whole new range of emotions and memories. New things and places and people and experiences are terrifying and exhilarating.

I want to recognize...and maybe document those.

This will be fun.